Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
