I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
