His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
