Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
