I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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