OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Randomize
