At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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