just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
