After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
