her vagine was all disorganized.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
