dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
