u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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