just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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