Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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