Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
