did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
