I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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