hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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