Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
