We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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