Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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