i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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