She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
