I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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