so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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