after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
