Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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