marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize