If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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