He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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