There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
