No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
