Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I'm passing your future prison.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
