it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
