She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
