this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
