I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize