How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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