Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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