holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
