i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
