I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
