Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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