he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize