Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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