I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
