mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
