i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
