We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
