the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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