I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
