Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
