I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
