we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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