yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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