thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Randomize
