i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Even my vagina gasped.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize