it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
