Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
