Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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