lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
