Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
